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Poetry is a beautiful thing
especially when you write the truth
and I've been trying to experience
this thing called joy
ever since my youth
But since birth
I have been living with 3 strikes
against my soul.
And I'm constantly taunted
with a sentence to eternal fire
after existing in a world
that was way too cold.
Now I'm forced to address topics
that people say in order for me to say this
I'm way too bold.
Never mind me dealing with facts
like once upon a time
black folks were sold,
because a muscle bound n*gger
was worth his weight in gold.

And people don't understand
that I can't write about
a field full of lilies
From the stories that I was told.
I can't write about things
like having my own room as a child.
I can't write about
how my mother was so proud of my report cards
due to her depressed state
over my psychological profile.

And I can't write about
the fact that I served as a soldier of this great nation,
with out getting into how
I was denied time after time
from continuing my education.
Through the rejection of my college applications
Or how the proclamation
aint got a damn thing to do with Haitians.

So I just can't write about
how every thing in my life is fine.
In a state where the police chose your fate
with the sentence of jail
or being shot 41 times.
Or how even to deal with the world
once upon a time I had to snort,
not one not two but at least three lines.

And I can't write about
all the religions I've tried
Because people say that God
will never leave me,
but I can't recall not one time
he actually stood by my side.

And I can't write about
how I grew up in the inner city,
without some rich saditty
trying to show care through financial pity.
Like it was only money I was missing.

And I can't write
about the countless drug deals
I did in my home
and not stop to think
that it was my mother's life I was risking.

And I can't write
about how after my father left,
all the dating mistakes my mother made

I can't write about
the tears I seen fall from her eyes
from all the games her boyfriends played.

and

I can't write about
the attempted molestations
growing up with the frustrations of
was it all my fault?
And I can't write
about how when my uncle
would slide down my draws
I was thinking it was natural,
and can't begin to tell you
what the fuck my uncle thought.
Just to find out years later,
to him the same thing
his father's brother taught

I can't write about
how my father proudly watched me grow.
And I can't write about
the love of another person,
because all my love walked out
when he left 27 years ago.
and I challenge any one of you
to write about happiness,
after your younger brother and sister
looks at you like you supposed to know.
And I can't write about
black Queens
because my mother was always referred to
as being a bitch or hoe.

Because I can't write about
long walks in the park
with out dodging bullets
just trying to get to the corner store.

And people still don't understand.
That if I just had to write about happiness
I just couldn't
Write
no more!

"I Can't Write About"
© 2006 Will "Da~RealOne" Bell
All rights reserved.
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